Skip to main content

When The Fog Lifted--The Restaurant That Raised Me

For most of my life, I couldn’t quite figure out where “home” was supposed to be.

Sure, I had a roof and family and love. I created a home with my husband and kids that fills me with warmth and gratitude daily. But deep inside, I felt like something was still missing—some anchor, some center, some quiet place that whispered, you belong here.

And for years, I didn’t feel settled enough—safe enough—to let myself find it.

Then one morning, while doing my usual makeup routine for the job I’ve bounced back to more times than I can count, something just clicked. Like one of those moments in recovery, when suddenly everything makes sense—not because life got easier, but because you got stronger. Your heart starts connecting the dots you didn’t even know you were drawing.

New China is my home.

It hit me like a ton of bricks—but soft ones, the kind you feel in your chest instead of your head. This restaurant has been the one reliable constant through nearly every chapter of my adult life. Through heartbreak, pregnancies, the loss of my child, losing my mom, medical struggles, relationships—I’ve lived it all, and New China has been my backdrop.

The people there? They’re family. My boss? He’s watched me stumble and grow, disappointed in me like family would, but also supported me like family should. Every time life knocked me around, that place was a cushion waiting for me to land.

I found my voice there. When I started working at 19, I was quiet—shy, unsure. But the energy of the restaurant, the banter with coworkers, the subtle mentorship from my boss and his wife—they helped shape the woman I am now. Without even realizing it, I’ve been collecting pieces of who I want to be from the way they live and lead.

That “click” moment was so real. Like my recovery journey suddenly pulled out a chair and sat me down with this truth: You don’t have to keep running. You’ve already arrived.

I care deeply about my job, sometimes too loudly—but that’s only because it’s stitched into my soul. It’s a place where I laugh, where I cry, where I serve food and love without needing anyone to ask. It might just be a restaurant to most people. But to me?

It’s the center of me.

So, yeah. Maybe one day I’ll work up the nerve to tell my boss that he can never get rid of me. Because I basically moved in. I just forgot to bring my stuff.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"When Grief Shattered Me: The Lessons My Mom Left Behind"

  Just some bullet points of my journey to "Grabbing life by the balls and living!" Losing my mom wasn’t just losing a parent—it was losing the anchor in my storm. It felt like my world fell apart, piece by piece, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever find solid ground again. I wasn’t just drowning in grief—I was pouring it into a glass, one sip at a time, hoping it would wash away the pain. Spoiler alert: It didn’t.  When she was diagnosed with cancer, I thought I had time. Time to prepare, time to say everything I wanted to say. But time is cruel, and in the blink of an eye, she was gone, taking parts of me with her I didn’t know how to live without.  I was drowning in the weight of motherhood, grief, and pain. I didn’t know how to balance it all—being a mom, carrying the loss of my own, and fighting a body that felt like it was turning against me. Some nights, I thought I was failing my kids just as much as I was failing myself. Alcohol became my escape. Then my prison. One ...

Survival isn't pretty, but here I am.

—My Story, No Filters— I never thought I’d be here—writing this, sharing my life, laying it all out without sugarcoating the ugly parts. But here I am, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that silence doesn’t serve survival. My life has been anything but simple. I’ve walked through fire—sometimes stumbling, sometimes crawling. Alcoholism? Been there. Recovery? Conquered it. And when I say I barely made it out alive, I mean that literally. I was drowning in the bottle, using it to numb the pain—physical, emotional, all of it. And it almost cost me everything. Losing my mom to cancer shattered me. Learning how to walk again after doctors dismissed my suffering as nothing more than the consequences of addiction broke me in ways I can’t describe. I spent a year sober, hoping for relief, only to be diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis—proof that my pain was real all along. Life doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It just happens. And in between working as a waitress, juggling fi...

Just a little peek into a morning as a momma of 5 twins included

Picture this: I walk into the doctor’s office, unsuspecting, probably wishing I were anywhere else. But nope! Instead of a pat on the back and a “You’re all good!” I get smacked with the news that I’m pregnant. AGAIN. For the seventh time. But wait—it gets better. Not just one baby, oh no, this time I’m having twin girls. TWINS. For the second time, because apparently the universe likes to keep things spicy. Now, let’s talk logistics. Tubal ligation? Doesn't matter, says the baby gods. They went ahead and rerouted the package, and now I’m left staring at the doctor like, "Excuse me, I didn’t order this! Please put it back on the shelf. I’ve been thoroughly satisfied with the prior editions of this product, thank you very much." Meanwhile, my husband—who swears up and down that he’s firmly on the no-new-babies train—is practically throwing confetti, excited for more kids. Really, dude? I’d like to see him carry twins again after already dealing with five kiddos, because at...